St: Voyager

 ST: Voyager. Harry Kim’s girlfriend says, “Harry, you’re starting to scare me.”

Austin, mimicking the actress: Rachel, you’re starting to scare me.

Me: Starting?

Ethel, No!

 Austin put our trays of tomato soup and salads right next to our cat Ethel. She immediately goes for the chicken in the salad. 

Me: Ethel, no. No. Ethel!

Austin comes back to the trays. He rescues his tray.

Austin: It’s okay.

Me: Now she’s going for mine.

Austin: I don’t care about that.

PD

 Me, explaining my glasses prescription to my husband.

Austin: So pupil distance, is that how far you can shoot lasers from your eyes?

Beard

 Me, while kissing: Ooo, keep your hair out of my mouth.

Austin: If you decide to grow a beard, I won’t complain.

Doctor

 Austin: I think I’m going to put off going to the doctor’s.

Me: You really ought to go. There’s all sorts of things that would show up on bloodwork.

Austin: Can’t you do it? You just take a knife and collect it in a baggie and send it in.

Neurology Appointment

 I’ve been having excruciating headaches and I’ve been arguing with myself about contacting a neurologist. I finally made the decision to make an appointment. And they can get me in in December.

Me: It’s a goodbye thing this isn’t an emergency. This will give me time to convince myself that these headaches are all in my head.

Austin: Well, even if it’s real, it is all in your head.

Magnesium Deficiency

 Austin has been craving nuts lately.

Austin: I don’t know why.

So I ask Alexa.

Alexa: Craving nuts is often a sign of magnesium deficiency…. Would you like a recipe for cashews?

Me: So you likely have a magnesium deficiency.

Austin: I probably had one when I got married too.