Austin and I Have Colds

 Austin: I learned—

Me: You learned?!?!

Austin: I learned that if you put Vicks VapoRub on your chest, you better wash your hands thoroughly; otherwise, next time you go to bathroom, you’re going to hurt yourself.

Ethel the Demon Cat

 My cat Ethel, who used to be over 20 lbs., fits in my slipper. Almost. Is it exercise and a new lust for life? Or something demonic? You decide.

Hard

 I think Austin wanted to tell me something last night.

Yoga

 Me: Next weekend is Valentine’s Day. Do you still want to sign up for yoga?

Austin: Sure. Maybe they’ll have hot naked couples yoga.

Puppy Pad

 Me: I assume it was Tess (the dog) who used a puppy pad last night.

Austin: I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t awake. All I know is it wasn’t me.

Have I?

 Me: have I told you how much I love you today?

Austin: No.

Me, as snow is coming down, 10 inches so far: I love you more than the snow that’s on the ground.

Austin: Don’t worry, it will melt in no time.

Free Oreos

 I haven’t played this game for a while, but some things amuse me too much. Austin and I routinely get free Oreo coupons from Kroger. And I routinely give them to the YMCA or the workers at the local post office. BUT apparently I have received a request.