Ethel the Demon Cat

 My cat Ethel, who used to be over 20 lbs., fits in my slipper. Almost. Is it exercise and a new lust for life? Or something demonic? You decide.

Hard

 I think Austin wanted to tell me something last night.

Yoga

 Me: Next weekend is Valentine’s Day. Do you still want to sign up for yoga?

Austin: Sure. Maybe they’ll have hot naked couples yoga.

Puppy Pad

 Me: I assume it was Tess (the dog) who used a puppy pad last night.

Austin: I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t awake. All I know is it wasn’t me.

Have I?

 Me: have I told you how much I love you today?

Austin: No.

Me, as snow is coming down, 10 inches so far: I love you more than the snow that’s on the ground.

Austin: Don’t worry, it will melt in no time.

Free Oreos

 I haven’t played this game for a while, but some things amuse me too much. Austin and I routinely get free Oreo coupons from Kroger. And I routinely give them to the YMCA or the workers at the local post office. BUT apparently I have received a request.

Vitamins

 Me: I haven’t taken my vitamins today.

Austin: Really? Because you seem like a pill.