Austin and I were discussing healthy snack options, such as applesauce and cottage cheese.
Me: I’m going to make zucchini spears in a bit.
Austin, eyes wide: Why? Are you going to stab me? Are you going to go hunting? Will you bring back meat?
Eye roll. Later.
Austin: What are you turning on the oven for?
Me: I told you. I’m going to make zucchini spears.
Austin: Tess, run for your life!
While placing an order at City Barbecue.
Austin: I want a naked turkey.
Me: That’s what I get every Sunday.
So, on Wednesday, I threw out my back for the first time. And I'm not even 50 yet. Never mind that Austin frequently has back pain is 10 years younger than me. We didn't do anything special for our annibirthday on Thursday. We went to the YMCA to exercise and ate out at a local Vietnamese restaurant.
Our big plans are for today. We're going to Columbus to eat with a friend and we're going to shop for new dinnerware, then buy chocolate from World Market.
Me, last night: Funny thing about back pain, I can walk two miles on a treadmill comfortably, but sitting kills me. I wanted to lie down on the bench in the sauna, but they didn't have any handles, so I didn't feel like I could lie down safely and I definitely would have hurt myself getting back up.
Austin: Are you feeling any better today?
Me: Ha, I wish. You know what was the worst? Being in the car. No back support, in that curved position.
Austin: I was thinking about that. You know, tomorrow, we'll be in a car all day, an hour to Columbus, driving around to the restaurant, then different stores. You might not want to do it.
Me: Dream on. I'll lie flat on my back in the backseat.
Austin is having a midlife crisis, so we now go to the YMCA twice a week to work out in addition to our daily walks. On Thursdays, before going to the Y, we eat out, careful to choose healthful meals. And of course, we’re democratic about these meals, each of choosing every other week.
Austin: I know it’s my turn, but since it’s your birthday, I think you should choose where we eat this week.
Me: It doesn’t really matter. It’s our anniversary also, so you might as well pick.
Austin: Your birthday is more important than our anniversary, so you pick.
Me: Well, you’re working, so it’s not like we can go somewhere special. Picking isn’t really important to me.
Austin: We’re going out this weekend. I didn’t think about taking your birthday DAY off. I wish I would have taken the day off. I’m sorry about that.
Me: It’s also our anniversary. Our TEN year anniversary.
Austin: We’re going out this weekend.
Me: You invited your friends. To our TEN year anniversary.
Austin: I asked your permission.
Me: I wanted you to be happy, because I’m too boring to spend the day with. You need your friends to make the day worthwhile.
Austin: You like X and Y too.
Me: That’s up there with the time Mom wanted to share a hotel room for our honeymoon.
Please keep in mind we’ve been watching, “Ghosts” recently.
Me, trepidatiously: I know you didn’t do this, but I’m wondering if you know about it. The butter dish in the kitchen was flipped over and the block of butter was sitting on top of the microwave.
Austin, enthusiastically: I know exactly what happened. The rice container fell off the top of the refrigerator and it landed upside down. Since it was upside down, I put my hand on the lid and turned it right-side up, so I only lost probably a cup of rice. I was too busy with the rice, but it probably hit the butter dish on the way down.
Me: Oh. That’s good. I left a pad of paper and a pencil on the counter and called out to Mom that if she could arrange our butter that way, she could write a message.
Austin: No, we’re not leaving out pads of paper for your mother. She can leave messages on mirrors just like every other ghost.
My laptop uses fingerprints to unlock it, much the way my iPad does.
Laptop: The fingerprint you used does not match the print on file. Please use a different finger.
Me, telling this to Austin: You can guess which finger I used, right?
