Austin put our trays of tomato soup and salads right next to our cat Ethel. She immediately goes for the chicken in the salad.
Me: Ethel, no. No. Ethel!
Austin comes back to the trays. He rescues his tray.
Austin: It’s okay.
Me: Now she’s going for mine.
Austin: I don’t care about that.
Me, explaining my glasses prescription to my husband.
Austin: So pupil distance, is that how far you can shoot lasers from your eyes?
Me, while kissing: Ooo, keep your hair out of my mouth.
Austin: If you decide to grow a beard, I won’t complain.
Austin: I think I’m going to put off going to the doctor’s.
Me: You really ought to go. There’s all sorts of things that would show up on bloodwork.
Austin: Can’t you do it? You just take a knife and collect it in a baggie and send it in.
I’ve been having excruciating headaches and I’ve been arguing with myself about contacting a neurologist. I finally made the decision to make an appointment. And they can get me in in December.
Me: It’s a goodbye thing this isn’t an emergency. This will give me time to convince myself that these headaches are all in my head.
Austin: Well, even if it’s real, it is all in your head.
Austin has been craving nuts lately.
Austin: I don’t know why.
So I ask Alexa.
Alexa: Craving nuts is often a sign of magnesium deficiency…. Would you like a recipe for cashews?
Me: So you likely have a magnesium deficiency.
Austin: I probably had one when I got married too.
