Me: If you want to help me decorate for Christmas, you could paint this ornament.
Austin: I don’t know if I have all the colors I would need like red and yellow.
Me: We have more acrylics in the pantry. You could paint the snowman white and a little spot of yellow at the bottom like a dog walked by.
Austin: No.
Austin: Today, everyone was talking about their favorite Thanksgiving dish. I was the only one who said pumpkin pie.
Me: Mine is a bowl. Maybe the platter, but it’s more of a Christmas theme.
We’re running low on half-and-half. I was planning on going to the grocery store tomorrow; however, Austin really thinks that we won’t be able to make it through the end of the day with the half-and-half we have left, as this is what he puts in his coffee and all things related to coffee are sacred.
Me: We could get groceries today, I just need to run into Heath to recycle some electronics.
Austin: I don’t wanna be running all over the place.
Me: I can go to the grocery store by myself. I don’t need you to run errands.
Austin: I don’t believe you.
Me, stepping closer and putting a hand on his shoulder: I can go by myself.
Austin: Now I really don’t believe you.
Austin, at the bank drive-thru: Anyone else think it’s weird that these machines have braille?
I took Austin’s car to the garage today and paid $$$$$ &!?:!!!! for the work. I got in the car to go home.
The clock is still on daylight savings time.
Me: I cut my finger while I was cleaning.
Austin: Oh, ouch.
Me: It’s fine. I’ll just use it as an excuse to not wash dishes.
Me: I feel awful.
Austin: What’s wrong?
Me: I slept badly. I have a headache and just feel miserable.
Austin: Whiskey.
Me, rolls eyes.
Austin: Or you could start with wine.
Me: I did start with whine.
Me: The waffle maker is probably in that cabinet, but I haven’t seen it for a while.
Austin: I think I got a postcard from it. I think it returned to its homeland in Belgium.
ST: Voyager. Harry Kim’s girlfriend says, “Harry, you’re starting to scare me.”
Austin, mimicking the actress: Rachel, you’re starting to scare me.
Me: Starting?
