How?

 Austin & I aren’t the kind of couple who spends all our time together. As over a year in COVID has passed, how can you stand it? Really? How?

Missing!

 After doing laundry, I discovered that one of my green footies was missing. Also known as an ankle sock.

Me: I misplaced one of my green footies. If you see a green footie, please return it to me.

Austin: If I find it, I will write a ransom note and include a tiny corner of the green fabric.

Yard Work

 I worked in the yard last night for over an hour and I worked in the yard again for almost an hour this morning.

Me, rubbing my back: My back aches like crazy.

Austin: I hope you didn’t catch my ankylosing spondylitis.

The Age Gap Strikes Again

 I was watching the Cult: Manson family murders on YouTube, as narrated by Stephanie Harlowe. 

Austin: What are you watching?

So I told him.

Austin: Oh, I thought it was Marilyn Manson. 

No Smoking

 Austin & I went to visit his parents. I love Austin’s family, but they smoke, so the first thing we always do when we get home is to strip and do laundry. I took Austin’s freshly washed button-down shirt to his room and hung it up. I went back to my room (remember, Austin & I have separate bedrooms) to finish doing the laundry.

Me, going back to his room: We’ll have to remember to wear our Baby Yoda underwear together now that they’re clean.

Me, noticing the shirt I just hung up on his bed.

Me: I just hung that up.

Austin: Yeah, but you hung it on the wrong hanger. The plastic hangers are for heavier items. I have wire hangers for light-weight items like button-down shirts.

Me: This is why I have fantasies about Yan Wushi.

My current lust:

I don’t own the rights to this photo. Yan Wushi from Thousand Autumns or Qian Qiu, a Chinese anime.

Sensitive

 Austin & I were talking about money. I’m frugal and passed judgement on spendthrifts.

Austin: A lot of people are emotional buyers.

Me: I guess that’s why I’m good with money. I’m not emotional.

Austin made a slight turn of the head.

Me: You don’t think I’m emotional, do you?

Austin, no response.

Me: I’m not emotional, right?

Austin, still no response.

Me: Answer me.

Austin: I thought it was a rhetorical question.

Driving in Mt. Vernon

Austin needed gas, so we had to zigzag from downtown to Coshocton Ave. Austin has been on Coshocton Ave. dozens of times, but never zigzagged from downtown. My mother, who was born in Mt. Vernon, was in the backseat with us.

Me, as he starts the car: Do you know where we are now?

Austin, veering right out of the exit: Yes.

Me: It’s a left.

A few minutes later, heading down Vernondale Dr.

Me, again: Do you know how to get home from here?

Austin: Yes. Even if I didn’t, you’d tell me if I made a wrong turn. And if you missed it, your mother get it.

Baby Yoda

 My Mother’s Day gift. Not the matching part. That’s Austin’s thing. 

Tiramisu

 A birthday tradition, I make tiramisu for Austin, since it’s his favorite dessert. His sister is a recovering alcoholic, so I’ve been switching up my recipe so she can still partake. Also, I’m allergic to coffee.

Austin: Last time, I thought the ladyfingers were too dry. I’d like to split the batch in half and do one with coffee and rum, then you can do your half with the coffee-substitute and the rum substitute. And I want to be in the kitchen and help you make it and try it and test it out and adjust it while you’re making it.

Me, saying nothing.

Austin: And you’re thinking, ‘You’re not going to be helping me. You’re going to be in the way. And you’re going to end up make twice the number of dirty dishes by dividing the dessert in half and making my work double.’

Me: It’s so nice when you can read my mind.

Happy Birthday!!!!

 Me: Happy Birthday, Bubby.

Austin: Happy Birthday.

Me: ????

Austin: I mean, thank you.

Chili

 Ohio is going through a cold spell.

Austin: It. Is. Chilly.

Me: Are you sure it isn’t chicken noodle?