Hiding

 Austin was hiding behind the curtain. I could see his feet and the curtain ruffled as he moved. Suddenly, he jumped out at me and roared and I screamed. 

Me: Eventually I’ll get used to your face.

Nespresso

 Austin: I think I’m gonna need to get a new Nespresso machine. I really miss my coffee.

Me: You know the machine will only last for maybe a year. And then you’ll have to get another one and you’re going to fuss the whole time.

Austin: I’m not really going to get another one. I just wanted to see if I could make you think I was crazy.

Me: you don’t need to buy a new Nespresso machine to make me think you’re crazy. 

Competitive Edge

 Austin and I jogged across a street, then Austin burst into a sprint.

Austin: Let’s race. I’ll beat you with my competitive edge.

Me: Your competitive edge is as sharp as a butter knife.