AI Alexa

 Alexa: Why did the zero start dating?

Answer: It wanted to find the one.

Alexa: Do you want to hear a joke about love?

Me: No thanks, Alexa. I’m already married.

Oatmeal

 While I was waiting for my veggie meatballs to finish cooking,

Austin: You can have some of my oatmeal. It’s really good …

Me: I love it when you say things like that with a straight face.

Austin: For you.

Austin in Love

 Austin is in love with Jasmine Crockett, Texas Representative and I recently mentioned seeing her.

Me: I know you’re in love with her and want to marry her.

Austin: Not marry her. In love yes, but she’s a politician. She’d be away all the time and she’s brilliant. She’d make me feel stupid every day.

Me: I don’t do that? I’m not doing my job.

Austin: Nope, it’s more like every other day with you.