Stakes

I wish I could remember what Austin said that induced me to say this:
Me: That's like a stake through my heart.
Austin: Interesting that you say stake instead of knife. *giggling* You don't even pretend to be human like the rest of us. That's the way to embrace your inner-vampire.
Me: You know I have Facebook up right now as we speak.

Bad Breath

I was getting ready to go on a walk. Austin was just finishing up a piece of pizza bread on garlic naan.
Austin: Do you mind if I come?
Me: Sure, if you want.
I leaned in to kiss him and got a whiff of that breath.
Me: But if you do go with me, be sure you don't breathe on anyone or kiss them. Your breath reeks.
Austin: OK, I'll try not to kiss any strangers while we're walking.

No Kill Shelter

My sister-in-law is a smoker and has a heart condition. She's been battling the smoking thing for years. She's successfully quit for years. But she's tripped up again. So she was throwing a Halloween party for all of her son who is 10 and her grandkids (she has two adult sons who have--eek!--8 kids between them).

As Austin and I were leaving, sis-in-law put down her cigarette so she could hug me. I razzed her about smoking. She said she'd like Austin & I to take care of her son if she dies from smoking too much. I told her we'd find a nice no-kill shelter for him. Yep, this is our typical family interaction.

Rose Petals

Watching Lady Dynamite & the love interest does a path of rose petals to the kitchen where he's made a rose petal omelet.
Austin: How would you like it if I did that, the path and rose omelet?
Me: I'd like the path, but not the omelet. Roses are often grown with chemicals that are toxic. You'd have to make some real strides to make sure the rose petals can be consumed.
Austin, maniacal smile: Oh, I'll make sure they're not toxic.

More IM'ing

Austin  11:00 AM

I picked out another robe I can get for cheap...so now I've decided that I can finally get rid of my older, ratty robe 

Rachel 11:01 AM

SMH, stop shopping.

Austin 11:01 AM

aparently s inside of parenthesis is  

I know...but I'm so bored...I can't help myself

Rachel 11:02 AM

You can help yourself. And I have a knife at my station.

Austin E 11:07 AM

now I'm loking at appliances..X only carries one portable dishwasher...and it could be ours for only $539 

Rachel 11:07 AM

You could be homeless in only 10 minutes.

Austin E 11:09 AM

lol...also, free delivery & installation..18 or 30 mo. speacial financing, & up to 30% off (+assoc discount)...it would end up being about $340 + tax...you know you want one

*rolling eyes*

IM'ing

Austin's been bored at work, so lots of im'ing.

I told Austin he needs to get his own department store cc, because he's been giving mine such a workout.

Rachel 9:41 AM

And you can make purchases at the store without me, if something ever strikes your fancy . . . like me hitting you with a brick.

Austin 9:41 AM

If something fancy ever strikes me, I'll know you threw it.

Austin making horrible typos:

Austin 10:01 AM
having a c & o problem.

Rachel 10:01 AM
you are a c&o problem.

Austin 10:02 AM
better than a bo problem

PDA

At work, I was having a tough day because all of our systems were down. When Austin came over, I gave him a great big hug. Later, at home.

Austin: I don't think you should hug me like that at work.

Me: It was a bad day.

Austin: Yeah, I know, but it's still work. I don't want people thinking I come over for hugs.

Me: Fine, I'll go back to plotting your murder.