Overworked

Sunday is the only day Austin and I get to spend much time together.
Austin: I wish we didn't have to work so much.
Me: I wish I didn't have to work so much. I don't mind that you have to work.

Hunky-Dory

Me and Austin were discussing grocery shopping.
Me: That'd be hunky-dory.
Austin: Well, I might be dory, but I don't think I'm the hunky part.
Me: You're not. That's why I didn't stop at the hunky part and kept going with the dory part.

Memory

Austin: I think I have a very good memory.
Me: You don't.
Austin: You think you have a very good memory.
Me: I do.
Austin: It's not as good as you think.
Me: I don't remember who I've told what, but that's people. I don't like people.
Austin: You also don't remember when you're wrong.
I should have told him I remembered marrying him, but trying to do the whole Christmas spirit last all year thing.

Frequent Shopper Card

I'm going to end up with a frequent shopper card to the Lion's Den if I don't get to see my husband more often soon.

Pick 'Em

Austin introduced me to one of his co-workers today, one of his assistants. She was telling me how lovely I was and what a beautiful couple Austin and I make.

Co-worker: Austin certainly knows how to pick 'em.

Austin: But Rachel doesn't. She picked me.

Ankles

No alcohol, drugs or anything induced this conversation . . .
Me: Do you know why we have ankles?
Austin: I think it's so we can run and stuff.
Me: That's what feet are for.
Austin, long, involved explanation about bones and muscles and how they're all attached and work together.
Me: But your ankles stick out. It's just kind of weird.
Austin: Your nose sticks out. That's kind of weird. What's your nose for?
Me: Smelling.
Austin: No, the holes are for smelling. The thing on top just sticks out. You don't need that part. We could just have slits. Those would be as good.
Me: I've said that about a million times.
Austin: No you haven't. You've said that about twice. Who have you said that to a million times?

Office Romance

One of my married, gay co-worker friends and I are having a fun little flirtation.
Homosexual co-worker: I'm off. I won't be back till After New Year.
Me: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, lover.
Co-worker X: I'm gonna tell your husband.
Me: He knows.