Tit for Tat

Austin was over the sink washing a few dishes.
Me: Thanks for washing the dishes.
Austin: I’m not going to wash them all. I was just going to wash these, then stop.
Me: That’s fine. I was just thanking you because you thanked me the other day when all I washed was four plates and a few forks. Tit for tat.

Guess where Austin grabbed me.

How Much I Love You

Austin: Have I told you how much I love you today?
Me: I told you that I love you and you acknowledged it. I believe you replied that you loved me too, but I don’t know if you made any quantifiable remark regarding how much.
Austin: If space could be measurable, my love would fill it.
Me: No it wouldn’t.

Murder Planning Again

Austin was watching Forensic Files again on Netflix.
Me: You getting ideas for how to murder me?
Austin: Nah. I don’t need any ideas. I have my own.

Assume...

For our trip to Virginia, Mom was having Austin sit her house and animals.

Austin: Is your Mom going to leave me instructions or is she just going to assume I know everything?
Me: Oh, she’s not going to assume that.

Nerf Bullets

Austin, examining Nerf bullets on clearance: If only I had the gun for these.
Me: I think that all the time.

I Wanna Dance With Somebody

An oldies station was playing at the store. Whitney Houston 'I Wanna Dance With Somebody' came on and I was bebopping through the store. And I remembered being in middle school when the song came out.
Me: Sadly, this song is an oldie now.
Austin: I hate to tell you this, but this song has been an oldie for a while now. 

You're Welcome

Me: X (who lives in Virginia) said to be sure to thank you for letting me go out and visit her.
Austin sprung to me and I was cackling, because X legitimately asked me to say this.
Austin, after he got over it, straightened his face: Tell her, 'You’re welcome.'