Vanity Plates

We saw an inordinately high number of vanity license plates today. 5HWIFTY, GR8 LMT, LVQUILTS.

Austin: Does that say FRY BOYZ?
Me: It says FRV 8012.

Monkey Bread

Me: If I make monkey bread out of the leftover rolls, would you want me to put dried cherries—
Austin: Absolutely not!
Me: I didn’t figure you’d want any, but the recipe I found calls for them.
Austin: No, no. No dried nothing. That ruins desserts. You bite down into this warm, soft, delicious bread, all sweet and gooey, then all the sudden, your teeth hits this dry, wrinkled up, bitter piece of yuck.
Me: And all of the sudden, you’re describing my mother.

I'm Thankful For...

Austin: I'm thankful that I have you. I love you. I’m so lucky you're in my life.
Austin & I embrace deeply.
Austin: The only thing that would be better than you would be two of you.
Me: Boy, you’re a glutton for punishment.


I’m thankful for this guy. Happy B-day, Emun Elliott.

Pre-Christmas Gift

 As a pre-Christmas gift, my mother-in-law gave us a Google assistant. Austin was raving over it, how wonderful it was and broke it open instantly. He was playing with it, programming it, checking its features. My mother-in-law mentioned sci-fi horror movies and how much closer we are to those becoming a reality. Austin was ignoring it all.

Austin: Check this out. Hey Google, what’s my name?
Google: Sexy hunk man.
Me: Hey Google, what’s my name?
Google: Sexy hunk man.
Me: I don’t think we have to worry about AI’s taking over the world just yet.

Surprise

Our Thai basil was looking exceptionally wilted, so I ran over to water it.
Austin: Make sure you water the sweet basil too.
Me: They’re right next to each other. Of course I’m going to water them both.
Austin: I’m just saying. You surprise me constantly. Even after twelve years, you always surprise me.
Me: What have I done lately that’s surprised you?
No answer. We finished putting away groceries.
Me, sometime later: You never said what I’ve done to surprise you lately.
Austin: Well, I woke up alive this morning. That’s always a shock.

Bad Day

I had a bad morning, so since Austin was getting off work early, he offered to take me out to eat.
Austin, walking in from work: You ready to go?
Me: Actually, I just shut down my computer and was going to take a nap when I heard you come in.
Austin: Okay. You go take your nap. I’ll go without you.

Going To Bed

Me: I think I’m going to bed.
Austin: Remember to sleep in it also.