S'mores Accident

 Me: I’ve got chocolate on my pants.

Austin: It’s fine. I’m sure it will wash out.

Me: Chocolate belongs in my mouth, not on my pants.

While on a Wooden Bridge...

 Austin: This bridge smells good. Is that weird to say? This bridge has wood for me.

Blond Moment

 Austin couldn’t get the grill to work.

Austin: I’m going to try again and make sure I’m not having a blond moment. After 12 years of marriage, I’m used to feeling stupid.

Me: Then I’ve done my job.

Ghosts

 The cabin was making noise.

Me: It’s haunted.

Austin: It’s probably the wood adjusting to the temperature change.

Me: Yeah, that’s more realistic than a teenager getting drunk and drowning in the hot tub, then becoming a ghost obsessed with s’mores.

Terrible Puns

Me: I’m glad I brought a roll of Charmin. At first, I was using theirs, but the off-brand toilet paper really chafes after a use or two.

Austin: Their toilet paper is crap.

Day One of Vaca

 Me: I can’t wait to get to the cabin. I’m going to stuff my face with all the stuff we bought from Alfonzo’s.

Austin: I can’t wait to turn on Murder, She Wrote.

Lamps

 Austin: Both lamps in the living room are getting old. The black one needs pliers to turn it on and off and the switch on the other one doesn’t work anymore.

Me, placing a hand on Austin’s back: I like to use things till they die.

Austin: I don’t like the ominous way you said that.