Happy Birthday!!!

 

How long?

 Austin: How long have we have the rice cooker?

Me: I can’t keep track of how long we’ve been married. You think I know how long we’ve had the rice cooker?

Pie

 Me: I made an apple pie. It was really good when it first came out of the oven.

Austin: So it’s not very good now?

Me: Also, the nutmeg is a little over pronounced.

Austin: So is it NUT-meg or nut-mmmmmeg?

Austin is the gift that keeps on giving.

Gray

 Me: I’ve got a whole clump of gray hairs right here up front.

Austin: They’ve gotten together to celebrate your birthday.

Stargate SG-1

Austin is watching Stargate SG1, a show his friends have all loved in the past, but he's never tried before. He's in love with it now.

Austin: If I were trapped on the other side of a stargate for fifty years, would you come find me?

Me: Fifty years later?

Austin: You're saying you would move on?

Me: After fifty years, yeah.

Austin: You'd just go on with your life? You wouldn't come to find me?

Me: Fifty years later? I'd be around 95 or 96. I'd be close to death, if not dead.

Austin: So you wouldn't even try.

Me: That's right.

Austin: Even though I love you and would need you desperately.

Me: You'd be in your mid-eighties, so you'd be in the same boat. Near death if not dead.

Austin: I can't believe you wouldn't even try.

Me: Let's be realistic. You wouldn't be able to survive more than a week or two without me.

Armpits & Fuzzy Things

So the Christmas job is over. 

Me: I'm free to let my leg hair grow out now. 

Austin: You could shave it to make your husband happy.

Me: Nah.

Austin: I shave for you.

Me, tugging on his beard: No, you don't.

Austin: I shave other things for you.

Me: I shave my couter for you.

Austin: I shave my armpits for you.

Me: Don't give me that crap. You shaved those long before I came along.

Austin: It's winter. I'm cold.

 

Refer to:

Legs & Fuzzy Things

if you don't get why this is funny. 

Dinner

 Austin switches on the light on the oven, inspects the shepherd's pie that's baking.

Me: What are you doing?

Austin: I just wanted to see how dinner looked.

Me: Pretty much the same as on the box.

Austin: Well, fine. I smelled burning, so I was checking to see if you left the film on the dinner.

Me: I didn't leave the film on the box.

Austin: It wouldn't be the first time.

Me: *&@^&

Austin: Look, I was going to lie to you, but you were the one who insisted on the truth.

Dark City

 Austin: Movies in the steam punk genre usually don't work. I mean, there's that one really old movie, Dark City. That one's amazing.

Me: Never heard of it.

Austin: It has that guy in it. He's in lots of stuff.

So I look it up on IMDB.com.

Me: I knew it. 

Austin: What?

Me: Old is 1998.

Austin: Yeah, that's old.

Me: Old is like the 30's, 40's, 50's. 1998 is a little over 20 years old.

Austin: Anything from when I was little or in school is old.

 

Anniversary Coming Up

Me: I can’t believe our 8 year wedding anniversary is coming up.

Austin: We’ve been married 8 years? Are you sure?

Me: Don’t make me get out the wedding certificate and check. And, we’ve been dating since 2007.

Austin: Wow.

Me: Right? Don’t ask me how many years that is. I don’t feel like doing math.