Me: We need to go visit your parents this weekend too.
Austin: Oh yeah, that’s right. [Glumly, as if getting presents is a chore.] My mom is going to ask me what I want for my birthday.
Me: Tell her you got everything when you met me.
Austin: Tiramisu.
Me: Which I make for you every birthday. And a blowjob, which I give you every birthday.
Austin: I’m not going to put that on a list for my mom.
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