Remember the Lentils?

Remember this? It’s that time again.

Austin: I took out the trash.

Me: In your room or in the kitchen?

Austin: The kitchen.

Me: Wow!

Austin: I figure if I can wave around the thing about the lentils once a year, I can take out the trash one a year.

 

Toilet Talk

 I work from home and my boss was complaining to the team that we were away from our computers too much. 

Boss: If you need to go to the bathroom, stretch your legs, whatever, it’s fine. But if you’re going to be away from your computer for more than five minutes, let me know.

So I was telling Austin this conversation.

Austin: Well, I don’t always know how long I’m going to be in the bathroom. Sometimes I go in there thinking it will be a two minute thing and it turns out to be a 10 minute thing. Sometimes, I have a dump so huge, I come out of there limping.

How Much I Love You

Me, lying on the couch, splitting headache, having gotten up too early after a poor night’s sleep and working in the yard at the crack of dawn.

Austin: Have I told you enough today that I love you?

Me: Not even close.

Austin, standing at the end of the couch, arms open: I love you.

Me: If you loved me, you wouldn’t make me get off of this couch.

Austin, arms still open.

Me, finally sitting up. He bends over to embrace me.

Austin, awkwardly hunched: If you loved me, you’d stand up.

Me: You can see how much we love each other.

Knife

 Austin: You know, now that I’m doing a lot of camping, I should get a hunting knife. I mean, I already have a battle axe.

Strange New Worlds

 Apparently Star Trek: Strange New Worlds’ Captain Pike’s hair has a strong following.

Austin: I get it. Captain Pike’s hair is mesmerizing. How do they get the gray and white to stay like that, the wave in his hair? And in a man so young. It’s like watching hypno-toad.

Me: And yet, here I am, a heterosexual woman and I don’t care.

Watch Out

 Austin, while playing with his Occulus: Watch out, Sarah!

Me: She’s blind. How exactly is she supposed to’watch out’?

Baby Pears

 Me, examining the miniature pears on our tree : Ah, ain’t dem coot?

Austin: Yeah.

Me: What do you think they’ll be when they grow up? 

Austin, shrugging.

Me: Maybe apples?

Austin: I think that one’s going to be a stripper.

Errands

 Austin & I ran errands this morning.

Austin: Should we go to TSC first, then Home Depot, then Aldi?

Me: We should go to Aldi first. Or Home Depot. I usually park at Aldi then walk to home depot, but I know how you are. Then Kroger, then TSC.

Austin, getting into the middle lane of the street: I think we should go to TSC.

Me: Why ask me if you’re going to do what you want anyway?

Austin: The pleasure of defying you. It’s the little wins.