While giving out, candy, Austin: Reese’s pumpkins?
Me: Yeah, you want one?
Austin: Yeah, we bought them. We can eat as much as we want.
[And he’s the skinny one.]
Austin, later: Do you want one?
Me: Nah.
Austin, breaking the Reese’s pumpkin open: I’ve never had one before. I’m excited to try it.
Me: It’s just a Reese’s cup shaped like a pumpkin. There’s no special flavor.
Austin: Oh. That’s not as exciting.
Me, wondering who I married: You live in a cave.
Austin and I have wanted an infrared thermometer for a long time and I finally bought one. Austin pointed it at his forehead and I yelled at him about radiation. Then I admitted I had already pointed it at my hand.
Me: It said I was 94 degrees, so it was a little off.
Austin: It’s a lot off. You’re cold as ice.
Austin has been around a lot lately. Like rarely going out with his friends and his sister has fallen down the alcoholism rabbit hole again, so he hasn’t spent time with her.
Usually, when I see Austin first thing in the morning, I give him a big hug, burrow into his plush robe and tell him how much I love him and how thankful I am that I have him.
Me, launching into his arms: I’m so glad you’re going to see your friends tonight and then spending tomorrow with your brother. And in the evening, visiting X. I’ll have the house all to myself. It’ll be so nice and quiet.
Austin: I love you too.
Austin doesn’t usually like the soup I make, so I don’t share it with him.
Me: I think it turned out really good this time. I added tomato paste and vegetarian sausage. It tastes really good. You might like it.
Meanwhile, Austin is making funny faces.
Me: You don’t have to try it, I just thought you’d like it.
Austin: My expression had nothing to do with that. I was just practicing making funny faces.
Me: You don’t have to practice. Your face is funny already.
