Austin: What a beautiful morning.
Me: I can see you’re still riding the high of being right yesterday.
Austin: Oh, how I love you, my glorious wife.
Me: Alexa, call my husband an &$*+!!!
Alexa: I don’t have that name in your contacts. Do you have a phone number?
Me: Alexa, never mind.
Me: I finished the noodles and threw away the takeout container.
Austin: Well, I’ll just have to get into the trash and dig it out. There’s only two places it could be.
Me: You aren’t going outside to get that takeout container.
Austin: ha, you just narrowed it down to one.
Me: This is like when I used to put what I was getting you for Christmas on FB. That’s how confident I am that you aren’t getting that takeout container.
Austin and I, while eating out. The waitress asked if the to-go box would be big enough. She brought a tiny box.
Me: I don’t think so.
Austin: Yeah, that’ll work.
Me, to the waitress: We’ll try it. If it doesn’t fit, he’ll eat what’s left.
By some miracle, this huge pile of udon noodles and peanut butter sauce fit in this tiny box.
Me: You were right. Better add that to your list of reminders so you can enjoy the anniversary, like you do when you were right about the lentils.
Austin: Nah, I’m going to bronze the box. Then I’m going shellac the layers.
Me: We’re not wasting my leftover noodles so you can rub it in my face that you were right.
Austin: You can eat the noodles, but I’m still bronzing the container and storing it in my closet so I can bring it out any time we have an argument and prove I was right.
Me: This is the second time in 17 years. I’ll let you have it.
We got three pastries as we were leaving the restaurant. I pulled down an airtight container to store them in.
Me: Which pastry do you want for dessert tonight?
Austin: I don’t want any of them. I just bought them to package up and torture you.
Me: You don’t need pastries to torture me.
Austin: But pastry temptations are a special kind of torture.
Me: Shut up while you’re still funny.
Me: Thank you for buying me dinner.
Austin: I had to. It would look pretty funny if I bought dinner for myself then ate it in front of you.
Austin and I on our way out.
Austin: I forgot my keys.
So I pulled out mine and offered them.
Austin: Nah, I’d rather have my own in case I want to leave without you.
It’s warm today and I wanted something cold and sweet to drink. Then I remembered the stockpile of Asian beverages in the fridge. I picked out the apple milk. As I go to open it.
Austin: Go ahead, open my Chinese drink.
Me: Oh, did you buy this?
Austin: Yeah.
Me: Oh, I just remembered buying a lot of weird drinks in November that time I went without you.
Austin: Yeah, well, I bought the good ones.
Austin: Where do you want to eat out tomorrow?
Me: Peony Bistro. It’s been a bit. I might change my mind tomorrow, but that’s what I feel like right now. I know, it’s not as easy to get to the Y from there with the bridge closed.
Austin: No, that’s not it.
Me: Really, you just turn down that one street, go a little bit, then turn back and onto Church Street.
Austin: Actually, if we go fast enough, I think we can clear the bridge.
Austin & I go to the Y to work out twice a week. We used to take the bridge, but now that it’s out, we have no choice but to drive past Fetter’s Dairy Isle. I think the dairy isle deliberately sabotaged the bridge.
Me: Then X said she couldn’t believe anyone would throw Ethel out. I thought she belonged to a preacher’s wife, but maybe that’s who found her.
Austin: Had to be.
Me: I thought the preacher’s wife got her declawed and then they couldn’t keep her. I mean, who would put that kind of money into a cat, then throw them away? Maybe she got out and ran away.
Austin: I can’t picture that cat running anywhere.
Me: X hasn’t contacted me yet about her birthday.
Austin: Technically, we don’t need X to go out and celebrate. We don’t even need her for a picture anymore. I can just use the phone function to insert a sticker of her in the picture. Next time we see her, ‘Wasn’t that fun?’ ‘I don’t remember that.’
Later X texts me. Me: Speak of the devil…
Austin: You know the devil!
