Over Forty

 For Labor Day Weekend, Austin was sent a bundle of ads. As soon as he opened it, I saw an ad for coins and started chuckling.

Austin: Hearing aids, a walk-in bathtub, wheel chair—Oh no!

Me: You’re over 40 now.

Austin: Shut up!

Jerk Chicken Pizza

 I brought home leftover jerk chicken from the Caribbean restaurant and Austin brought home a whole pepperoni pizza from Little Caesar’s.

Austin: Did you have any of the pizza?

Me: Yes, I had some for breakfast.

Austin: I had some last night before going to bed. I put some jerk chicken on it and a dollop of Greek yogurt, then put it in the air fryer.

Me: How are you still alive?

Austin: Well, I was on the toilet for a long time, but I didn’t &%$#* out any organs I need.

Me: Just your brain then.