Toilet Paper

 Austin: I took the last two rolls of toilet paper out of the cupboard. So unless there’s more somewhere else, we’re out.

Me: I would appreciate it if you’d put it on the grocery list.

Austin: I don’t think we should waste it that way. We should use it on our butts. Not on the grocery list.

Me, the look.

Austin: Yes, dear. I’ll write TP on the grocery list.