Steak N Shake

At Steak & Shake, Mom and Austin both got a double patty on their burgers. I got a single patty.
Austin: Me and your mom, we eat like men.
Me: At least you do something like a man.
Austin: Ohhh, I'm going to move out. I'm going to live on your porch. That way I'll scare off any men who might come around.
Me: I don't want any men.
Austin: OK, women.
Me: OK, that would be Mom and you don't scare her.

Weird Things

I was fidgeting with this odd note hanging on Austin's mirror.
Austin: I keep a lot of weird things.
Me: Like me?
Austin: You're not the weirdest thing I've kept. But you're up there.

Eye Checkup

Me: You're so sexy and so handsome. I love you so much.
Austin: Every time you say that, I think we should have signed up for the vision plan for our insurance.
Me: My eyes are fine. You're gorgeous.
Austin: You need to get your eyes checked.
Me: I did. I've only had these glasses for a month.
Austin: They need returned.

Dinner Suggestions

Me: I've got three dinners planned for next week. Got any suggestions?

Austin: Steak.

Me: Okay, four.

Austin: Surprise me.

Me: Well, I can definitely do that. I love surprises. And remember, when I'm up to a challenge, my surprises are scarier than yours.

Continued

I was making a smoothie and peeled one cutie and tossed it in the blender.

Me, showing the carafe to my husband: Do you think I need a second cutie?

Austin: Yes.

Me: Do you think--

Austin: I know you're going to say something about the cute waiter from that restaurant. Don't.

Me: Am I that predictable?

Austin: Yes.

Emun Elliott Moment

We had a cute waiter at this Mexican restaurant we frequent and I was really enjoying looking at him.

Me: Damn, he's cute. I could watch him walk away all day. Man, I could pay him to let me take a picture of him and just set it up at our table.

Austin, giving me a look.

Me: Sorry, I was having an Emun Elliott moment.

Since Austin wouldn't let me take a picture of the waiter, here's a pic of Emun Elliott.

Banging Amazing

Austin: Have I told you lately that you’re amazing?

Me: You told me yesterday.

Austin: You’re banging amazing.

Me: You banged me Saturday, but you refused me yesterday. So I had to take matters into my own hands. Literally.