Austin's Teeth

Some zingers over Austin's Teeth

Austin didn't feel well, so when we were going out, he didn't put in his teeth.
Me: As long as you don't smile, you won't scare any children. 

Austin made ma yi shang shu last night.
Me: I could never tell you enough how much I love you.
Austin was trying to suck up a noodle and was failing miserably, so I teased him about it.

Austin: You try sucking up a noodle with false teeth.
Me: I'm not going to get false teeth just so I can try sucking up noodles.
Austin: I can help you with that.
Me: I've told you enough that I love you.

Austin kissed me without his teeth in and I pointed out that was the first time he'd done that. He said, no, he'd done it before. So then Austin and I went round and round and he reminded me of the other time.
Me: Oh wait. You're right. I remember that.
Austin: Well, it had to happen sometime.
Me: No, it didn't. You could have died without doing it. You're stubborn like that.
Austin: No. I meant I had to be right sometime.
Me: No, that didn't have to happen either.

Austin was saying how he hates shorts that you have to wear a belt with and how much he likes these shorts with an elastic waistband. Later, he was talking about the place that sells golf carts right across the street from where he was having his oil changed. We could have a golf cart for only $189!
Me: You are so not cool, shorts with elastic waistbands, driving around the village in a golf cart and you're teeth aren't in. You're getting old.
Austin: I'm totally cool. I'm a hipster. That's what cool, old people are.
Me: Hipsters are panties.

I thought Austin still had his teeth in.
Austin: No, I took them out, see?
He smiles.
Austin: Makes it easier to lie through my teeth.
Me: That's because there's nothing in the way.