As my hysterectomy is eminent, my anxiety levels go up. The notion that I'll die under anesthesia is low, but when my mother was in surgery 38 years ago, the doctors lost her and had to get her back.
Also, I've never had major surgery before. I'm concerned about the pain and the recovery time. Austin reminds me that I'm relatively young and healthy. I should recover quickly and have little pain. *Insert comment about Austin being plenty of pain here.
Austin: Maybe they'll cut out everything, your vagina, your urethra, everything. And reroute it so you'll pee out your nipple.
Hand over face.
Austin: Maybe they'll mess it up and you'll have one little inch hanging there like "Hedwig and the Angry Inch."
Me: I already have 71 inches right here [indicating Austin] that I don't know what to do with.
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