Soppressata

I know, I make fun of Austin a lot. A LOT. But Austin is very well educated. His mother and oldest brother are also educated and even somewhat refined.

I don't know what happened with Austin's brother Pete. Pete's fiancee is worse. The first time we met her, she was telling us about being a model (she's over 200 lbs. and is 5'). We're guessing this was a long time ago.

Nevertheless, his fiancee frequently posts pictures of herself modeling bathing suits and lingerie on FB. She would make any Wal-Mart hillbilly proud.

As with all men, Austin's male relations are impossible to buy for, so we always get a pile of soppressata for them. When we were divvying up Christmas gifts, it turned out we had an extra package of sliced soppressata.

Austin: What are we supposed to do with this?

Me: Give it as a gift.

Austin: Yeah, but we've got enough for Toby, Pete, Doug...

Me: We never give enough to Pete's hick fiancee.

Austin: Yeah, but it's sliced. Will she even know what to do with it?

Me: She'll use them as pasties. And post pictures on FB.