Austin has had his Nespresso machine for a while now and he had his freshly brewed-milk frothed cup under his nose, inhaling deeply. But it’s technically his Christmas present.
Austin: Just smell that aroma.
Me: I’m allergic.
Austin: Coffee contains brain cells.
Me: If that were the case, all people who drank coffee would be brilliant and all of us nondrinkers would be rubes. You want me to tell you my IQ again?
Austin: Nah, there’s brain cells here. I take a deep breath and brain cells start plumping, pumping. My body begins to function. All with the addition of coffee.
Me: Again, if this were true, we wouldn’t have to worry about the zombie apocalypse. We’d just stockpile coffee beans.
Austin: Maybe you should write to the producers of Walking Dead, let them know.
Me: Better idea. Let’s write to Washington, require coffee there.
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