Saturday, December 25, 2021

Coffee vs. Brains

 Austin has had his Nespresso machine for a while now and he had his freshly brewed-milk frothed cup under his nose, inhaling deeply. But it’s technically his Christmas present.

Austin: Just smell that aroma.

Me: I’m allergic.

Austin: Coffee contains brain cells.

Me: If that were the case, all people who drank coffee would be brilliant and all of us nondrinkers would be rubes. You want me to tell you my IQ again?

Austin: Nah, there’s brain cells here. I take a deep breath and brain cells start plumping, pumping. My body begins to function. All with the addition of coffee.

Me: Again, if this were true, we wouldn’t have to worry about the zombie apocalypse. We’d just stockpile coffee beans.

Austin: Maybe you should write to the producers of Walking Dead, let them know.

Me: Better idea. Let’s write to Washington, require coffee there.

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