Tasia

So my husband is as skinny as a rail. Except he's started to get a gut, like an good married man. We've named this bump, "Tasia." He is pregnant and will be giving birth sometime in the distant future.

Austin was whining again about Tasia and his extra weight, the actions he's taking to try to lose his gut.
Me: I'm partly to blame for Tasia. 

Austin, shocked & startled by my admission, shoving paper and pen into my hand: Can you write that down?
The note:
Dear Austin,
Tasia is partly my fault. I've made you happy, comfortable and secure. I've cooked food for you and encouraged you to eat what you want. So I accept blame for being a wonderful wife.
Rachel 

We're not trying to have kids. We don't want them. I tell this to Austin every month.
Me: I'm not pregnant. Tasia isn't getting a little brother.
Austin, grabbing a hunk of his own butt: I don't know. She might be. In fact I think they're twins.