Austin and I routinely shower together. It saves water and it builds intimacy in the relationship.
Austin, screaming: There's a spider.
He's at the front of the shower, I'm at the back. I wear glasses, so I'm half-blind, but in the slippery wet shower, my husband is pushing me to the front and jumping out of the tub.
Austin: Kill it! Get rid of it!
I'm groping around blind, turning off the water, wet, naked. I don't murder innocent creatures. Especially not good, useful creatures like spiders. I find a bit of cardboard and use our mouthwash glass to capture the spider and set it free. I told Austin I put it outside, but I put it in the basement. Shhhhhh, don't tell him. I mean, wet and naked. Even I wouldn't expose our neighbors to that.
I return to the bathroom.
Austin: Is it safe?
Me: Yes, we can shower once again. Let freedom ring.
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