Accident

So Austin and I had a little accident. And in accident, I mean, oops, my penis slipped and fell into your vagina sans birth control. So now I'm crossing my fingers. And as my husband has had a string of the accidents lately, I felt the need to mention it.

Me: Look, if you want to try for kids, we can do that. But I really don't want something to happen right now.

Austin: I barely went in.

Me: You were all the way in.

Austin, making dismissive noise.

Me: Look, if I got pregnant right now, that would put the delivery date squarely in the middle of our France trip next year.

Austin: Ouch. That puts things into perspective.

Me: That's right.

Austin: It's not all my fault.

Me: Excuse me?

Austin: You heard me.

Me: Yeah, 'cause I can picture in the middle of the show, me growling, “Get off me.”