Monday, February 3, 2020

Dead Dog

Whenever Cassie lies on the floor unmoving, we tease her about being a dead dog. They dog is not dead.

Me: Dead dog. We’ve got a dead dog on the floor. What are we going to do with a dead dog?
Austin: Bury her.
Me: No. She’s too heavy. We’ll have to let her sit there and turn to carrion. Then maybe we’ll be able to lift her.
Austin: I’ve got a better idea. We call the shelter, tell them we’re interested in a new model. We want to take advantage of their haul away program. If they refuse, we’ll tell them Home Depot has one. “Yes, we want a new dog. I want chrome, but the Mrs. prefers white.” Then we demand free removal and delivery.


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