Austin: I’m going to have my own Japanese steakhouse at our house. I’m going to pull out the stove and put stools around it. Then I’ll take a machete and carve up steaks. I’ve been practicing my onion volcano. And then we’ll do an egg toss.
Me: Didn’t you catch the eggs the last time we went?
Austin: I always catch the eggs. Whenever we’re going to a Japanese steakhouse, I practice all morning. I toss Goldfish to practice. It’s just like catching the scrambled eggs.
Me: Seven years married, thirteen years together.
Austin: What?
Me: Your family thought getting you a girl would fix you.
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