Austin: I put Caesar
dressing on the list.
Me, looking at the list: Caesar creamy.
Austin: Yeah, the creamy part is important.
Me: As opposed to what?
Austin: I use it on sandwiches, not on salads, so it needs to be the creamy kind.
Me: I'll bring you what I bring you and you'll like it.
Austin: Don't you be bringing me lumpy or clumpy or crazy salad dressing, woman. I won't pay for it.
Me: Yeah you will. I don't itemize your bill. I just put down "groceries". I could be slowly charging you for airfare to London for a rendez-vous with Emun Elliott. You wouldn't know.
Nevertheless, I check out the empty bottle in the recycle bin. Classic Caesar dressing. Kraft.
Yesterday, I went to this fabulous wedding dinner party, stayed up a bit too late, but all is well. Just tired. Today I got out of work, went to the grocery store, checked out the wall of salad dressing. A foreign place to me as I consider salad dressing a condiment. Rows and rows. Kraft. Rich and creamy. Cool and creamy. Fresh and creamy. There are so many creamies I'm speechless. A thick and creamy, but not Kraft. Nope, better stay on script. Kraft rich & creamy into the cart.
Me, home, holding the bottle out to Austin: I hope this is right one. There were a lot of creamies.
Austin: This is ranch.
Me: &$:;/-&!!!
Me, looking at the list: Caesar creamy.
Austin: Yeah, the creamy part is important.
Me: As opposed to what?
Austin: I use it on sandwiches, not on salads, so it needs to be the creamy kind.
Me: I'll bring you what I bring you and you'll like it.
Austin: Don't you be bringing me lumpy or clumpy or crazy salad dressing, woman. I won't pay for it.
Me: Yeah you will. I don't itemize your bill. I just put down "groceries". I could be slowly charging you for airfare to London for a rendez-vous with Emun Elliott. You wouldn't know.
Nevertheless, I check out the empty bottle in the recycle bin. Classic Caesar dressing. Kraft.
Yesterday, I went to this fabulous wedding dinner party, stayed up a bit too late, but all is well. Just tired. Today I got out of work, went to the grocery store, checked out the wall of salad dressing. A foreign place to me as I consider salad dressing a condiment. Rows and rows. Kraft. Rich and creamy. Cool and creamy. Fresh and creamy. There are so many creamies I'm speechless. A thick and creamy, but not Kraft. Nope, better stay on script. Kraft rich & creamy into the cart.
Me, home, holding the bottle out to Austin: I hope this is right one. There were a lot of creamies.
Austin: This is ranch.
Me: &$:;/-&!!!
And after all that, we made a special trip to the grocery store to pick up Caesar's dressing. Notice, absolutely nowhere on this bottle does it say creamy.
No comments:
Post a Comment