Stirring Occasionally

So, Austin brought home a meal in a bag both yesterday and today. I don't remember what the one from yesterday was called, but the one today was Bertoli's.
Me, as he's preparing: And be sure to actually stir it this time.
Austin: It said to stir occasionally.
Me: You stirred it once.
Austin: Yeah, that's occasionally.
Me: No, that's once.
Austin: Christmas happens occasionally.
Me: No, holidays happen occasionally. Christmas happens once a year.
Austin: Fine. Since you think you can make dinner better than me, you can stir it.
Me: Oh no, you're stirring it. If I did everything around that house that I do better than you, I'd be doing almost everything around the house. Oh wait--