Later, Austin mentioned that he loved my boobs more than anything. I wasn't amused.
Austin: What I really meant was I love to touch them.
Me: Mhmmm.
Austin: I love that they're mine and I can be with you and touch them. I love squeezing them.
Me: What you mean is for your next birthday, you'd like me to get a breast augmentation and have a squeaky toy put in them for even more fun.
Austin: Well, yeah. But we should save that money for a vasectomy.
Me: We're pretty close to having enough money for your vasectomy.
Austin: And I'm pretty sure you can just buy a bra that has a squeaky toy in it.
Me: I could go downstairs, rip apart one of the dog toys and pull the squeaker out and put it down my shirt.
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