Digestives

Austin was complaining about his increasing waist line.

Me: Those digestives are cookies, just because they're tasteless doesn't mean they don't have calories.
Austin: I know, and don't call them tasteless. Some people just can't appreciate their subtle flavors. Someone put a lot of blood and sweat into creating those.
Me: If you don't want your blood and sweat on the floor--
I didn't have to finish the threat.

Austin had some indigestion yesterday.
Me: I'm so sorry you're not feeling well. I hate it when you're in pain, especially when I didn't cause it.

Later, Me: I borrowed some Pepto from Mom. It's only a year after the expiration date.

Next day, Austin getting ready to go to friends.
Austin: I haven't eaten anything today. I'm worried about what will happen if I eat.
Me: Take some crackers.
Austin: I already have some.
Me: And I hate to say, but you have two packs of Digestives.
Austin was not amused.