Everyone
says how sweet and wonderful Austin is . . . but no one ever says
they'd like to take him home and keep him.
Austin
is in love with his new shoes. A friend told him her boyfriend had
the same shoes and that he loves them too. She told him how stylish
they are.
Austin: I didn't get these shoes for style. I got them for comfort. I'm an old man. And X's boyfriend is an old man too.
Me: We're all in love with old men.
Austin, grabbing me: I'm not ! (Shaking me) I'm not, am I?
Then he squeezes my boobs.
Really, I'm selling him. Best offer.
Austin: I didn't get these shoes for style. I got them for comfort. I'm an old man. And X's boyfriend is an old man too.
Me: We're all in love with old men.
Austin, grabbing me: I'm not ! (Shaking me) I'm not, am I?
Then he squeezes my boobs.
Really, I'm selling him. Best offer.
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