Orders

Austin, coming in with a package: This is the order I place on Sunday. My order from Wednesday still hasn't shown up, but X said it was on the reconciliation report.
Me: What?
Austin: That means it's probably short.
Me: Ah, man, that sucks.
Austin: Yeah, I had two clearance items and used three reward certificates.
Me: Yeah, that's awful.
Austin: But X will make it right. I'm just concerned about the clearance items. Even so, I'll still reorder the rest. X will just have to fix it. And she loves me. She'll take care of it. And if she doesn't--
Me, expecting uber-threat.
Austin: I won't wave at her or smile at her in the hallway anymore.
Me, mystified: That's the best you've got?
Austin: Well, yeah. Can you imagine how upset she'd be if I didn't smile, wave or talk to her in the hallways anymore?
Me: Why don't you threaten to move in with her? That would actually scare her.
Austin, faking a pout.