The Washing Machine

So I got everything on my to-do list done, except wash laundry. I turned on the washing machine. And nothing happened. So I check the breaker, check the plug, try a different plug with an extension cord just to be sure. It's the washing machine. We paid $35 for this washing machine a couple of years ago, so I'm debating about fixing it or just buying another.

Poor Austin had a $##%*&@% day. He was late to work, didn't realize his boss was off, so he called her at home to tell her, went to pickup lunch for his co-worker, discovered that he'd left his chap stick on the dashboard. Knowing it had probably melted, he did what any man would do and took off its lid. Getting melted chap stick all over his pants. So he tries to wipe it off with his hands while he's driving. Gets it all over his steering wheel. Then he can't hardly handle the wheel because it's slippery. The chap stick begins to solidify and he smells like peppermint all day.

All he wants is to wash his jeans and go to bed when he gets home. Well, he got to go straight to bed anyway . . .

So, on Saturday, Austin & I went out to by a washer. It was delivered the next day. On a Sunday! Hooray!
Me: This is the first major purchase we've made together.
Austin: My car.
Me: I just co-signed, you're paying it. This is 50-50. If we get divorced, we've now got property to divide.
Austin: I think this marriage will last longer than that washing machine.
Me: So, 10 to 15 years.
Austin: That's about right.

Though the delivery guys delivered it on a Sunday, they didn't hook it up. Which was fine, I can change hoses.
Me: I can't get the hose off the spigot. Would you go down and do it?
Austin: Why do you think I can do it?
Me: I'm a wimpy girl. You're a man.
Austin: Yeah, but I'm just a flimsy, little guy. If you can't do it, I won't be able to do it either.
Me: Seriously, you're going to make me call my mom?

Later:

Me: Mom was able to get the hose off the spigot.
Austin: That's awesome.
Me: So you're OK with the fact that my mother has stronger muscles than you?
Austin: I didn't even try. I took a different tack.
Me: Evasion?
Austin: Exactly.