Emun Elliott

My muse . . . and Austin's favorite thing to make fun of me for . . .

So, long ago, Austin gave me permission to have a dalliance with Emun Elliott, should I ever meet him. He says he's not the jealous type and this will not bother him at all.
I don't think Emun Elliott will have me, so I've suggested other companions who might consider a dalliance. Austin has flatly refused. So either I'm allowed to have a dalliance or not.
Austin: You're not serious.
Me: We'll see how serious I am when I say, 'I fart in your general direction.' Watch my fanny as I walk out this door.

Austin, Mom & I were eating out today. Austin asks me if I know anything about the band playing on the intercom and I said no.
Me: I don't know things about musicians and actors anymore. I don't look them up and stuff. Except Emun Elliott. I know his birthday is November 28. And Ian Somerhalder just had his birthday on December 8.
Austin: This conversation has nothing to do with Emun Elliott or Ian Somerhalder. Don't turn this conversation into them. 

So Austin has this atrocious lesion on the bridge of his nose, bloody and gross, so he put a bandage on it. And I was staring at it.
Austin: I know, it's awful, unsightly, this thing in the middle of my face.
Both: Your nose.
Austin: I knew you were going to say that.
Me: Do you think we're getting stale and predictable?
Austin: Nah. Next year for Emun Elliott's Birthday Day, we should have a huge party with Emun Elliott plates and Emun Elliott tablecloth, a big naked picture of Emun Elliott so we can play Pin the Penis on Emun Elliott.
Me: I don't have any naked pictures of Emun Elliott.
Austin: I'll stalk him for you.

Since I've been a bit obsessive about Emun Elliott lately, Austin was trying to make me feel better. Austin: You'll meet him eventually. You have your whole life. Eventually he'll be old and crippled. Then you'll be able to catch him.